Tag: Sex

 

Day 26: things you’d say to an ex

Whoa. This is some heavy shit. I have a few exes, and I’d say something different to each of them. I’m still friends with quite a few of them, which shows that both parties involved grew up at least a little bit.

So, what would I say? I don’t want to go all Adele on them, if you feel me, but there’s still some pain and anger lingering in a couple situations. I’m almost 50 and I’ve been married — to one of my exes, actually — for almost half my life. What’s left to say?

I don’t want to name names or kiss and tell, but here are some thoughts.

• I loved you once, with all my heart.
• You broke my heart, but I forgive you.
• I knew you were gay, but I didn’t care.
• I still think about you sometimes, and always with a smile.
• You taught me a lot about myself.
• You made me so mad I wanted to kill you.
• That was some really mindlessly awesome sex.
• That was some really pathetically lousy sex.
• Remind me again how drunk I was?
• I should’ve called the police after the first time you hit me.
• You’re a rotten bastard and I hope you rot in hell.
• You raped me.
• I can’t believe you tried to kill me.
• How did it come to this?
• Do you even remember our relationship?
• We split and you started dating that cow?
• You don’t marry your rebound, honey.
• That was the sweetest summer of my life.
• You made me feel like a princess and I always remembered that.
• What were we thinking?
• Love is some complicated shit.
• You chased me and then you dumped me, then it was somehow MY fault?
• What took you so long? What were we waiting for?
• I could barely keep my hands off of you.
• I’ve never felt that way before, or since.
• What can I say? The first cut is the deepest.
• We were so young.
• Oh my God, I was so stupid.
• I’ve always wondered what you saw in me.
• I only remember the good times.

The most important thing of all is what I’d say to the most important of my exes:

• I’m so glad you didn’t give up on us.
• You have the patience of Job. I can’t believe you waited this long.
• You were there when I finally landed. Thank you.
• You had a vision of you and me that I couldn’t see at first. I see it now, and it’s beautiful.
• I’m sorry it took me so long.
• I’m sorry I hurt you.
• I’ve loved you so long I can’t remember when I didn’t.
• Thank you for asking me to marry you. I’m glad I said yes.
• I can’t imagine life without you.
• I’m so happy that we get to grow old together.
• Thank you for the life we’ve made together.

And I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you.