Sanctuary 

I’ve been writing poetry since I was quite young. Poetry has always been my sanctuary: my most preferred and clearest form of verbal communication. I’ve written all sorts of things. I love to read poetry, particularly ee cummings and Pablo Neruda. I love the way they are able to play with words and use them to paint pictures and evoke emotions. I have always tried to do that in the poems that I write, with varying degrees of success.

The most successful poem I ever wrote was about my husband. Contrary to what you might think, it was not a love poem. I wrote it our senior year in high school when we were first dating. The poem, entitled UP THERE, was about the difficulties in our relationship and the feeling of being stifled I was having. We broke up soon after. I have not ever really written a poem for him since.

Mind you, John and I have an incredible relationship. After nearly 25 years of marriage, we still love each other very much and I would consider our relationship to be very passionate indeed. Perhaps I don’t write about how I feel because I am able to show him every day. Perhaps I have only ever been able to write poems about men that I might have loved before but was never able to sustain a relationship with. I have never been sure why it is that my favorite method of expressing my emotions in print has never worked for my relationship with my husband. Surely he is deserving of the very best poetry I could ever produce.

With all this baggage in mind, I am going to try right now to do what I have felt thus far was impossible. I’m going to take a stab at writing something specifically for him. I don’t know how it will go, and I admit that I am terribly frightened that it will fail. Still, I truly believe that I need to give it my best shot. Here it is:

Here with you my breath is calm and even
My pulse slows
I can relax my tired body and rest

Your arms surround me and I sigh my relief
The world cannot touch me now
And the screaming stresses
Are drowned out by the gentle lull
Of your heartbeat

This is where I land
When I fall
Here, in your arms

My head tucks neatly
Beneath your chin
Your lips brush my forehead
My fingers seek the stubble
Of your cheeks

Turning my face upward
I catch your eyes in my gaze
The corners of my mouth turn up
Slowly

Everything I need is here
With you
You are my home

Laugh, moan
Sigh, sob
I let them all go here
My heart is open like the clear blue sky
And my defenses break like waves on a rocky shore

Your kiss is my sunrise
And your arms provide the sanctuary
I’ve waited a lifetime to find

Author: violamom2

I'm a musician, wife, mom of two amazing kids, teacher, writer, knitter, diversity advocate, and budding entrepreneur. Not bad for 52, huh? View all posts by violamom2