Day 28: the word/phrase you use constantly

“That’s attractive…”

Yeah, that’s the phrase I use the most. The sarcasm is pretty palpable, I think. Even with all my recent attempts at self-improvement, I still have a pretty wide sarcastic streak.

Actually, this phrase is not originally mine. I learned it from my birth mother, back in the days I thought she was my aunt. I remember the first time she said it to me. I was wearing an outfit that she found…questionable, shall we say. Out came the infamous phrase, sweetly melodious and dripping with sarcasm.

“That’s attractive.”

Maybe I was too young to fully understand that she was expressing disdain rather than appreciation for my burgeoning fashion sense. I probably took it as a compliment and said thank you. I was a pretty literal kid when I was younger (maybe that’s where my boy gets some of that). Sarcasm was lost on me.

Then, puberty hit and I became the latest adolescent temple to snark.

I guess I discovered my love of language, poetry, and music around that time, and sarcasm was just the cherry on top. Somewhere in there I started to use my mom’s signature phrase. Thus began my lifelong career of witty quips, double entendres, and sly bon mots. “That’s attractive ” became the strongest weapon in the arsenal.

Man, I was a real bitch sometimes. There are moments I look back and cringe at some of the things I said (I smile sometimes too). My words were often shot out like machine gun fire, fully intended to cause harm. Some of those words were part of profane tirades. Some of them were part of witty repartee used to flirt with boys I deemed worthy (read as smart as me). Words became my shield and my weapon. They created a distance between me and the rest of the world that I was convinced could hurt me. Any messy situation from a bad grade to a bad outfit got the same response.

“That’s attractive.”

Life has a funny way of teaching us multiple lessons over the years, all from the same source. I hear far too many of my words come out of the mouths of my own children. Sometimes I smile. Usually I cringe. I have no one to blame but myself. My own mouth has doubled back to bite me in my own ass. All I can say is,

“That’s attractive.”


Author: violamom2

I'm a musician, wife, mom of two amazing kids, teacher, writer, knitter, diversity advocate, and budding entrepreneur. Not bad for 52, huh?

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