… I have absolutely no regrets about what I wrote last night. I thought I might, mostly because I was afraid to make such a strong statement. Then again, anyone who really knows me, and is therefore my friend on FB, knows that such strong statements from me are not uncommon. I only hope that I am learning to step back and think before I speak. My beloved Granddaddy, of blessed memory, used to say about me, “You know Lisa. If it comes up, it comes out.” It took me years to figure out that those words were not necessarily meant as a compliment.
I have a short fuse and a sharp tongue. Just ask my husband, who has seen more than his share of my blow ups and heard more than he wanted of my passionate rants. I am trying, and sometimes failing, to wait a beat (or two, or three…) before I open my mouth. My goal is to respond, not to react. I want to be seen as someone with a reasoned opinion, not as some hot-headed and sassy black girl with an attitude. I may be the latter, but that is not all I am — there is so much more.
I am overwhelmed by the positive feedback on my blog in general and about “Trouble Afoot” specifically. I felt I took a big risk in writing all of that so openly, but I’m so glad I did. I do get so tired of having to explain my existence and of hearing folks say dumb stuff around me because they “forgot” I was black. Yeah, sure you did. Uh huh…
Those who know me may also notice a distinct lack of something they know I use often — profanity. Yes, I am a world-famous potty mouth for sure, but I am trying to clean up my act. I’m not saying I won’t drop the f-bomb at some point in my writings, but I am trying to express myself more often without it. Profanity in writing should be more of a seasoning than a whole meal.
I am at work now and have to get to teaching my young charges. I may check in again, but I’ll be thinking of what to write next if I can’t get back to this today.
I am learning to live my life with no regrets — a la Phoebe Snow (one of my favorite tunes of hers — check it out!). Last night, I laid down some heavy stuff. Thanks for reading, identifying, and understanding.