I’ve just spent the last hour or so reading over all of my previous blog entries. I have missed blogging and longed to get back to it. I’ve decided that now is the time.
First, I’d like to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read what I’ve written. I am humbled to think that my words are meaningful to anyone other than myself, and I appreciate the comments that folks have made from time to time. I began this journey to help me, but I am so happy to know that my words have had an impact on the lives of others as well.
Re-reading my blog entries was a really emotional experience. I didn’t remember much about my blogging days. I didn’t remember how many I’d written or what the topics were that I’d chosen. I was brought to tears by some of the things I’d written, and encouraged by my own words about things that are still challenging me to this day. It was like reading letters from myself to myself, and learning from the perspective they provided.
Mostly, I was floored by how open and honest I was about my life and all its challenges, especially in such a public forum. I bared my soul in really significant ways and I offered my thoughts and opinions on some pretty heavy stuff. I may have offended some folks or made them see me in ways they didn’t want to see me. I may have confused some who saw me in a particular light and were uncomfortable with my words and what they revealed about me. This blog was not intended to do any of that. I simply wanted and needed an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I needed a place to park some of the bigger clutter in my head. I needed to tell on myself and give others the opportunity to share their stories with me. I needed to write my way through my own confusion and come to a freedom I couldn’t reach living only inside my own head. I needed a witness. As I’ve said before, we all need a witness.
So… Now what?
I have no idea where I go from here. I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to the first round of blog posts I did — the last one being just over two years ago. I suppose I need only build on what I’ve already written and just continue to live in each moment as I document it. Just write what you know, Lisa. Just tell the truth as you know and see it. Take the first step and have no fear. Step out on faith as you have so many times before. Be you and be real. Let the chips fall where they may.
I hope that someone will read this and be glad I’m trying to make my way back to writing. I hope my words will have meaning to someone other than me. I hope my thoughts will inspire and help others on their journey through this crazy thing we call life.
I still, after everything, have hope.
I’ll see you all again soon. Much love.